2: Decisions

With my determination in hand, I sought out a group that would meet my needs. I chose Spiritual Journeys.  Simultaneously, I was busily trying to sort out the childcare I needed if I was going on my own to make this happen. Nothing seemed to fit what we needed, my mother and sisters all work, my husband has long hours, my in-laws live in London, not many choices left. My only option was to put them in childcare for 2 weeks and pray that they would adjust and cope with me gone.  Deep in my heart I knew I couldn't leave them, this would have to be a journey we all took together as a family. Initially, it was not an easy pill to swallow. My vision of sitting peacefully reciting, praying, reflecting at any time and for however long, were now being challenged and I have to admit I panicked.

Masjid Kufa

I could fully imagine the whining, crying, nappy changing, toilet taking, feeding, dressing, lifting, consoling, explaining, and washing, that I would be in store for. However, I came to terms with the fact that going together as a family would mean that all of us would be at peace and that in itself would bring about a different sort of spiritual satisfaction and reward. This would be my struggle and my test, this was how desperate I was to visit the foundations of this faith.
The happiness I saw in their eyes when they heard the news, of travelling together, melted any bitterness I had left.  I submitted to Allah's will and mercy and accepted my invitation to my blessed Imams as a part of whole.

That decision made, next was the planning and preparation, which, with children, especially 4, always requires attention to detail.