6: Tips

Upon arriving to the accommodations, there is a brief amount of time in which to have a ghusl, get changed and possibly have a quick lie down. Kids are usually exhausted at this point, after the hours of travelling, but they quickly regain their energy once they know they no longer have to sit in a moving plane or bus.
Hotel Card 

Example of Hotel card

At each place of abode that you will be staying at, be sure to take a card with the address and phone number and give to each child to keep in a pouch/purse on themselves at all times. Decide on a meeting place, in case you get separated, and in the worst case scenario they can show the hotel card to an attendant and ask for directions.
Historical Background
The group proceeds to take everyone to visit the shrine Imam Ali(as), Hazrath Nuh(as) & Adam(as), who are all buried in one grave. The more historical background you have prepared your children with, as well as yourself, beforehand, the better they will connect with this spiritual experience.  At each stage, it is helpful to explain what is about to happen, what needs to be recited and why.
Meeting Points
Before entering the holy shrine, make sure your children know where to meet inside (for example- meet at this wooden door or under the archway facing the zaari- the more specific the better and actually physically take them to the location) in case you get separated.  This is a very congested area, with many people pushing, pulling and shoving. For small children it can be overwhelming, as they are being knocked around by towering adults from all sides. Their anxious minds can be reassured as you remind them that thousands of angels are guarding and protecting us in gratitude for visiting these holy personalities.
Approaching Zari

When taking your first steps towards the shrine with your child's hand firmly in yours, surrender to the Divine will of Allah by not trying to shove and force yourself towards the zaari. Recite salawat often and you will find yourself naturally pulled at the threshold of one of the most perfect human beings to have ever existed.  If possible, pick your child up so they don't get crushed and so they have more space.
Security 
There are several security check points which are separated by gender, if you are going to the haram with your sons who are older than 8 I would say, make sure you have a male caregiver with them so they can be

sign for females this way

supervised in the male only areas. Older boys will not be allowed to enter the women's side.
When going to the haram, make sure you only take the essentials with you, don't carry purses or bags filled with random things you don't need, they will stop you and check every single pocket-delays things for you and everyone behind you. Take only essentials- I had a passport pouch around my neck with my money- there have been instances where people have been robbed inside the haram, so do be careful how much you carry with you inside- I found the hotel room's quite safe, but its up to your discretion. I also carried my dua books either in my hands or in a sports drawstring bag, which is easy to open and show. Also remember that once inside, there is a tremendous amount of pilgrims and devotees all trying to do the same thing as you-rub your cheeks against the zari and pray 2 rakats under the dome. The more you carry the more of a burden it will be to accomplish this. There are Quran and ziarat books inside the haram, with basic dua. Phones will not be permitted inside- they will ask you to check cameras and phones into amanat (deposit cubicles)
Amanat & Shoes
There are stations positioned before you enter the haram for your shoes. There will be someone to take them (if you are entering with a group of people then group all your shoes together) and they will  hand you a token (put this safely in your passport pouch and zip it) If you plan on leaving before your group or after than get your own token so you can collect your shoes whenever you come out.
Amanat- phones and camera will have to be checked in here (I have heard of no issues with this)- you will also get a token and they will also take your name for extra security. Again- zip this token up safely with you.
Strollers
Strollers will also be checked in near the shoe deposit stalls, they will give you a token, just be sure not to leave any valuables inside your stroller, there is no guarantee that come back and find your stuff. 

5: Departures

Departures:

Imam Jafar as Sadiq(as) is reported to have said "When a Shia leaves his house with the intention of performing Imam Husain's(as) ziarat, he is accompanied by 700 angels. They safeguard him from above and below, from the right and the left, from the front and the back (all six directions), till such a time that he reaches his destination"

With the distraction of packing satisfied, my mind focused on the journey, the sacredness of the land I was flying to, the enormity of whose presence I would be in, and the significance of this visitation.
Feeling unworthy, we made our way, by rental car to JFK airport from DC, around a 4.5 hrs journey. By the time we boarded it was quite late at night and the kids easily fell into a deep slumber for most of the 12 hour flight. We arrived in Dubai for an overnight stopover, enough time to have a meal, shower and a short rest before waking up to catch the Baghdad flight the next morning. It was a bit challenging for the kids, as well as myself, as we had already traveled 15 hours or so, including the car ride to NY, but the excitement of the final destination and the fear of missing our connection ultimately drove us out of our warm soft beds.
One by one, I was checking off each hurdle in my mind, waking and dressing kids, catching the shuttle, getting through security, walking to the gate, waiting to board, all of which are ten times more of a hassle when travelling with little ones.
I kept reminding myself that 700 angels are with our every step until I return home, surreptitiously helping us get to our destination, like invisible guards protecting us and guides pointing us in the direction of our beloved. I felt a satisfying enveloping peace, a sort of tranquil confidence that put me at ease.

 Shiekh Abdul Jalil of Idara-e-Jaferia of MD, once gave a lecture on how the earth will also bear witness to our actions and our whereabouts. Each place we have knelt and prostrated will testify on our behalf.  Some of these locations, have without any doubt, a greater spiritual significant, so much so that one can feel its magnetic pull and energy upon arrival.

Arriving at the airport in Baghdad required patience, after all, after we had been travelling for almost a full 24 hours. We located some seats and adjusted to the lack of motion, as the visas were being processed. The kids no doubt asked for the toilet, my
advice to you- before you are due to land, be sure to have them use the toilets on board, as there are 'Asian' toilets at the airport.
Once the visas had been processed and passports handed back to us, we headed towards the baggage claim. Be prepared for missing or damaged luggage, don't get upset over it, you can improvise and you'll live.

Travelling with a large group means many delays, we would have to wait until every member had their luggage, their visa and had boarded the buses. It was an excellent test of patience

Once we had boarded the buses, the kids dropped into a slumber like no other.  I, on the other hand, like most of the others, was too excited to sleep. There was too much to soak in, the endless checkpoints, the soldiers, the palm trees, the dirt, the trash, the donkey carts, the American tanks, some deserted and left on the side of the road and others parked and patrolling the traffic and the canals and rivers. The excitement sours as the reality of Iraq, the birthplace of civilization, is in fact in tatters, trash strewn in large piles everywhere, concrete walls surrounding many checkpoints protecting the guards from suicide bombers, some in crumbles and some with bullet holes patrolled with US artillery, and the poverty.  I can not forget the poverty.  I no longer buy my kids clothes they don't need, or throw food we can not finish, I now choose to live only within my means, nothing more than necessary or needed.

As we were nearing the Holy city of Najaf, Ali Safdar Rizvi began reciting the most hauntingly beautiful nohay and the weight of my thoughts quickly focused back to my own personal journey, not much longer, not much further. The one who was born inside the Kaaba, who lifted the gate at Khayber, who slept in the bed of Rasulallah(saws), who was the husband of the lady of paradise, the father of Imam Hasan and Husayn (as), the standard bearer, the one who bore the difficulties of a divided ummah, whose sermons and dua are unquestionably like no other, who recited a munajat to his Lord so powerful and spiritually cosmic, that the listener can not bear its enormity. This man, this great man has invited you.

Not worthy, that's was the next feeling that literally enveloped me. Why me? Useless, imperfect me.

We are all in the same low position, but we had that spark, that interest, that love, that brought us running. Blinded us to the reality of the journey, the security, the danger, the inconveniences. Somehow it worked, the visa, the dates, the flights, the money. Allah(swt) wanted you, allowed you, and invited you. I'd be a fool to turn it down because of my lowly status. My back straightened up slightly in my bus seat. This is it, the bus now stopped, the doors folding open, get up and start walking, every step I am closer.

4: Spiritual Prep

Physical preparation can be completed the week or so before travelling, however the spiritual preparation and education should begin as soon as possible, even for the smallest of children.

Najaf

There are various manuals you can use to educate yourself and your children on where you will be going, one I suggest, is http://www.al-islam.org/ziyarat/, there are maps, general information and also pictures.
There is also, http://www.ziaraat.org/index.htm.  I also had some biographical books on the Imams and companions that I read and had my children read.
 I copied pages from my Mafati in Arabic and English, but if you can find one comprehensive Ziarat book that is better. Def. have a copy of Ziarat Ashura with you.
I would also suggest watching Sayed Ammar Nakshawani's Biographies on the Imams on YouTube. Below is the Biography of Imam Ali (as), there are videos on all 14 masoomeen. You can focus on the Imams you will be visiting or even better watch all 14 as, of course, they are all related to one another.

Your group should also send you information on how to prepare for Ziyarat and the benefits. http://www.ziaraat.org/articles/etiq.pdf- Good PDF file on importance of Ziyarat.  And also
http://www.asserattours.com/ebooks/Iraaq_eng%20(Final)%20Big.pdf
I found that reading the importance of this journey and reminding them of the magnitude of the personalities we were visiting really had an impact on my older kids.

Also began watching the Mukthar Nama series, as you will be doing his ziyarat in Iraq as well. It is a total of 40 series, one hour each, so make sure you start a month ahead of your travels. Above video is episode 1.
There are also movies on some of the Imams, although not as produced as well.

3: Preparation

Part 3: Preparations

Having four kids, even one for that matter, requires a fair amount of preparation when travelling to places where there are health hazards and limited access to pharmacies, even when travelling alone. Therefore, you have to be prepared.  I had a pool of contacts, some of whom had been on Ziyarat, with or without kids, and some in the medical field. I made lists of their recommendations and a list of medical supplies I would need.  Be advised, when you ask for advice be weary who you are asking.  I say this with all due respect. I had one older Aunty of mine who had just come back and her list was endless...nebulizer for asthma, 'Have you seen how heavy those are?'  I protested. Flashlight for when the electricity shuts off, 'Really? Will it be turned off all night?' Images of my younger children wailing in the darkness broke my chain of thought as I was jotting down everything she said.  'Okay, what else Aunty?', she mentioned alarm clocks, socks, glucose tablets, mints, socks, change of clothes for every single day, socks, q-tips, and make sure you don't forget the socks, she insisted.
Of course your personality also plays a big part as to what you may or may not want to bring with you. If you like everything to be on hand then by all means buy everything from where you are. If you can manage with the necessities and are willing to search for various general items in Iraq or Iran, that is also a feasible option, but be warned that there is limited time, when you are travelling with a group, to do shopping.  I will insert that there were plenty of people selling boxed socks, the kind you can easily do wudhu in, everywhere, especially Najaf, Iraq.

Here is my finalized list, after having come back:
Med kit:
-Antibiotics (you'll have to get your doctor to prescribe or if you are Hyderabadi, your family)
*One family did not have antibiotics on them for their child and easily were directed to a pharmacy.
-Antibacterial foam or wipes for wounds (neosporin) and also for regular use when the kids have their hands on everything
-Plasters/band aides
-Probiotic capsules (Sustenex) For children they have gummy supplements (I found these invaluable and a necessary protection for the digestive system)
-Pedialyte (Electrolyte for dehydration) and Gatorade powder
-Sunscreen
-ChapStick (a must)

I had the below on hand, but alhumdulillah did not need:
-Ibuprofen for kids (Motrin)
-Tylenol or Paracetamol for kids
-Pepto Bismol
-Saline spray
-Dramamine -For motion sickness
-Anti-Diarrhea capsules
-Thermometer (find out if there is a Doctor travelling with your group, they will probably be carrying this with them)
I had more (like antacid, stool softener, etc) but honestly I don't think you will need, insh'Allah. Worse comes to worse, there will be a pharmacy and you'll have to manage with whatever they have. Just take the necessities.

I would advise you to pack the following toiletries:
-Shampoo/conditioner (the hotels have some but its up to you if you want to use, it won't be Pantene or whatever you're used to)
-Soap- You can manage with the hotel soap but if not then pack your own
-Toilet Paper- My cousin warned me and I did not pay heed. The hotels, all of them, from Iran to Iraq, for some strange reason only will provide less than 1/4 roll then your own your own. You can improvise with the tissue (some version of Kleenex) if you can't be bothered to pack rolls. Outside of the hotel there will be NONE, be warned!
-Squirting bottle for the toilet helps to avoid the pipe in the Asian toilets.
-Sunscreen/Lotion-Depending on when you go, the sun is pretty intense, it can be taxing on the skin, especially for the little ones (pack a hat for them)
-I did not use the Q-Tips often as the hijab protects the ears from dust but for the boys or small girls you may want to pack
-Female Necessities-always be prepared. If you do have any issues with menses, know where you are allowed to enter or not. Do not feel bad or ashamed, Allah has made us the way we are for a reason, and it is natural and normal.  Just because you can not enter under the dome of the shrines does not mean you can not share in having a conversation with our Imams, whether from afar or near, Allah knows your intention and by simply being in that environment and on that sacred land you will feel more than satisfied and appreciative.
An extra pair of glasses or contacts-sometimes trying to get to the zaari can prove quite difficult and glasses can get knocked off and broken.
I was advised to pack my own towels and sheets-Every hotel we went to had towels. I used the sheets in Kerbala as the sheets on the bed kept coming off (I left the ones I brought there)

Bags/Purse: Best not to carry too much on you in Iraq, there are so many security checkpoints where you will get a full body pat down and have each of your bags examined.  I carried a ID pouch around my neck with my money, hotel business card with the address (wherever you stay ask for a hotel card at the front desk)...very important if you get lost, as I did : (
I also kept my dua book/s in my hands so I wouldn't waste time at the security checks. If you do need to carry a bag, I would suggest using one of those sports sacs with the straps and then have only a few things inside which you can quickly open and show.

Suitcases: The smaller the bags the better, the less you take the better. Do not take your best most expensive bags, expect a lot of wear and tear as your bags will be thrown and dropped numerous times. I would also advise to pack an emergency roll on hand bag to keep with you on the flight, that you do not check in. Pack in an extra set of everything and keep your most important things with you, in case your bags get lost or delayed. Anyone taking prescription medications, keep them with you!

Clothing: (Women)

• Abaya/Chador: You will be wearing an Abaya and chador almost everyday. They do have dry cleaning services at the hotel or you can hand wash your clothes (takes some work-and in that case bring a little washing liquid)
• Chador: I borrowed from a gracious friend, you can also have one made or the easiest option is to buy one when you get to Iraq (around $15-25) The Iraqi chador has sleeves, which I found easier to manage with kids, the Irani chador I would recommend with the elastic for behind the head.

This one I found on this US site for $45  http://www.alhannah.com/images/products/ab/397/detail.jpg, that's $25 more than in Iraq.

       You can also wear knee length shirts with trousers and chador or Iraqi abaya on top.

• Scarves- I tried to pack enough for the 2 weeks so I wouldn't have to wash, doesn't have to be black but I would advise against bright reds.
• T shirts/long sleeve t shirts- to wear underneath.
• I wore track suit bottoms under the abaya, and also bought leggings but I found the leggings too hot as they are tighter. I would pack enough to last you a week, then you can wash. Some sisters had jeans but I find them too hot as well.
• Socks- my aunt was right, you need them. They get lost, they get dusty, and they need to be changed everyday. You can buy off the street if need be.

• Underwear- pack enough for however long your staying...too embarrassing to send off for dry cleaning, you could hand wash.

Kids:
(Boys)- I found the boys wearing the dishdasha (thoub) looked the most comfortable. Can be found in Iraq.
They can wear short sleeves and trousers, no shorts obviously.

They sell them here for $25, I'm sure you can find them in Iraq for $10 less

(Girls)- under 5 can wear regular modest clothing. I'd avoid really bright colors and stick with neutrals. Not a big deal though, nothing to get stressed over. I found the Iraqi and Iranians very nice to the little ones.
Don't forget the socks and a hat if not wearing a scarf.
Older girls should wear an abaya and over 9 also a chador...with socks!
Don't forget lots of underwear for them


Shoes-
A lot of people in my group had crocs. Easy to slip on and off and light and comfortable. I personally wore Toms, but found they got very dusty as they're canvas. I'd suggest those ever so fashionable Crocs.

These seemed the most sensible and comfortable.  $31 on Croc website

Stroller- Yes I took one, for my 3 yr old. Invaluable, it's broken now though, after they threw it in and out of the bus, so don't take your Peg Perego!

Nappies-Do not forget them and pack enough for as long as you are staying. I ran out in Iran and had to buy from there, unless there are bigger stores elsewhere, the one I found had nappies from the 1970's, you know the plastic bulky kind. Its still manageable, if necessary, your kid may not be happy though, definitely NOT breathable.

2: Decisions

With my determination in hand, I sought out a group that would meet my needs. I chose Spiritual Journeys.  Simultaneously, I was busily trying to sort out the childcare I needed if I was going on my own to make this happen. Nothing seemed to fit what we needed, my mother and sisters all work, my husband has long hours, my in-laws live in London, not many choices left. My only option was to put them in childcare for 2 weeks and pray that they would adjust and cope with me gone.  Deep in my heart I knew I couldn't leave them, this would have to be a journey we all took together as a family. Initially, it was not an easy pill to swallow. My vision of sitting peacefully reciting, praying, reflecting at any time and for however long, were now being challenged and I have to admit I panicked.

Masjid Kufa

I could fully imagine the whining, crying, nappy changing, toilet taking, feeding, dressing, lifting, consoling, explaining, and washing, that I would be in store for. However, I came to terms with the fact that going together as a family would mean that all of us would be at peace and that in itself would bring about a different sort of spiritual satisfaction and reward. This would be my struggle and my test, this was how desperate I was to visit the foundations of this faith.
The happiness I saw in their eyes when they heard the news, of travelling together, melted any bitterness I had left.  I submitted to Allah's will and mercy and accepted my invitation to my blessed Imams as a part of whole.

That decision made, next was the planning and preparation, which, with children, especially 4, always requires attention to detail.

1: Intention

Imam Sadiq (a.s.) narrates, 'Allah has appointed some angels at Imam Husain's grave. When a Shia makes the intention for Imam Husain's (a.s.) Ziarat, Allah forgives all his sins. When he takes a step to go for Ziarat, he erases his sins. His virtues multiply and they increase till the time he becomes worthy of Paradise’. 

(Wasailul Mohibbeen, pg. 280)

Our new year begins without the fireworks and celebration but with the same reflection of months past and resolutions for the coming ones.  Moharram 2011/2012 was a pivotal month for me, Allah(swt) opened my heart and eyes this year, opened my eyes to my wasteful and material lifestyle, made it clearer to me about the dangers of this world and false notions of what's important.  With each string I was breaking that held me to this world I felt I was being pulled closer to the calling of my Imams. With each description of pilgrims, that Sayed Ammar Nakshawani narrated, who flock to our beloved Imams and weep in their presence humbly rubbing their cheeks against the bars that keep them apart, I felt an increasing desire I hadn't really felt before other than when I was summoned on hajj in 2006. Its an insatiable voice, it stops at nothing, it has a mind of its own and will not be silenced until it is aim is met.  And that is when my Ziyarat began.

Initially, I was selfish, I only thought of myself going, to fulfill that burning desire I had inside, however, my kids would have none of it. I have a 13 yr old, a 9 yr. old, 4 yr. old, and a 3 yr old. Yes, a mother of 4. Of course, I had no intention whatsoever of taking my younger 2 because that would mean less ibadat for me, less focus, less time, less independence. I couldn't even imagine them coming with me. My initial vision was being completely lost in devotion in the very threshold of ahle Muhammad. That of course was not the case...